Internal, External, Eternal
Have you ever considered the choices you make and how the consequences (good or bad) that result from those choices may be of your own making? Do you every look at others and complain that their reaction to your choices is worse than the choice you made in the fist place that resulted in their reaction?
There is a method called “reverse engineering” that says in order to understand something, begin with the end (result) and work toward the beginning (cause). We use, this method very successfully in therapy to challenge irrational beliefs that lead to behaviors that trigger negative consequences. Change the belief (internal) and you change the consequences (external) and if you do this consistently you avoid developing bad habits that get passed down for generations to come (eternal).
There are many forms of generational “sins” that can be passed down. Things like alcoholism, drug addiction, sexual addiction (prostitutes, porn), abuse, failed relationships, and even thievery. Lifestyle, choices, character traits, and negativity, can be passed down as well. Often, children of parents who have adopted the unhealthy patterns of their families refuse to change because they see the benefits of blaming others and not taking responsibility for their choices. A world view rooted in hate, blame, and self-harm can ruin many opportunities, where conversely, a world view rooted in hope, happiness, and grace can lead to many successes.
As a therapist I work with young adults who are trying to break away from the unhealthy patterns their parents created, which they learned from their parents, and their grandparents before them. Youth today are wise when they inherently know the path their parents are on leads only to destruction. I offer these young adults an opportunity to break the chains of guilt, shame, and hopelessness and offer a new view, a new purpose, and a new path where they design the life they want to live instead of the life they were born into.
I know a 17 year old woman who has taken the abuse of her childhood (generational drug abuse, sexual abuse, and abandonment from a parent who sits in a prison), and turned her pain into strength. She is taking control of her choices by recognizing her parents past does not have to be her future. Their mistakes do not have to be hers. She can break those chains and create a new legacy for herself and her future children.
Contrast that with a recent law maker”s “rant” about slavery and how she includes herself as someone who suffered through the slave trade era. It is sad that she still believes she is a slave even while she sits in a position of authority, able to speak to the world, earning exponentially more than the average citizen, and yet says she currently is a slave. I agree slavery was terrible and that African Tribes who enslaved their own people and sold them into slavery was wrong. But her anger is the result of a generational mindset rooted in hate that prevents her from seeing the truth: Portugal's involvement in the slave trade began in 1444, and dominated the trade for the first 130 years. History records the first arrival of approximately 20 enslaved Africans to Virginia in 1619.
The choice is yours. You can blame others for your choices based on the past, or you can look forward to your future and plan a life of your own making.
“Parents are not to be put to death for their children, nor children put to death for their parents; each will die for their own sin.” Deuteronomy 24:16